Tuesday, 30 November 2010

Match of the Year Candidate?: The King Vs The Miz

-SATIRE- So what can we take from this Monday's Raw?

1) The WWE has no real care for the 'King of the Ring' after they put crown on an already established main-eventer instead of a giving it to a mid-carder to propel them to the top. Sheamus is already a two-time WWE champion with the kind of prestige to get him more in the long run so why let him win a tournament that is used to create new main event stars. Alberto Del Rio or John Morrison are the easily the two stand out superstars that should of been given the win as they are just waiting for that one extra push that could land them a championship. But as we all know the WWE doesn't care about what the fans want.

2) John Cena isn't going anywhere; and this is actually a positive! Think about it, what is worse John Cena or John Cena pretending (and failing) to be someone else in a mask. Juan Cena, Cena's Mexican cousin or some rubbish like that, has started appearing on WWE's house shows and it would take a complete retard (*Cough* Michael Cole *cough*) to think it actually was. WWE would be the laughing stock of the wrestling world if they decide to bring this gimmick to their A-show. So lets just hope Juan Cena gets deported sometime soon and we can keep good ol' John Cena instead (never thought i would say that?).

3) CM Punk is the commentator for the IWC. Everything he says is either poking fun at his other commentators or tell the fans at home how it really is. The night started off with another dig at Riley's DUI, followed by a King Kofi Kingston joke and then the best of all about Cena smashing Slater through the Table. "Cena, this isn't the Spanish announce table" pure genius. He was on top form and if he wasn't such a good wrestler i would want him to take up announcing full-time!

4) WWE uses older wrestlers so much better than TNA does.

If you had missed the past couple of Raws and was told that the main event was the The Miz Vs Jerry 'The King' Lawler for the WWE Championship you would never believe it. But that is the TRUTH. The King challenged The Miz to a match about half way through the show and the anonymous General Manager confirmed it as a TLC match. Now i bet everyone at home was thinking WTF are the creative team thinking?

TNA has been using their 'Golden Oldies' since Hogan took over and it really shows that some wrestlers have to draw a line at some point in their careers, especially EV 2.0 and Ric Flair. But WWE does what the TNA can't and that is by choosing wrestlers who are old but can still put on fantastic shows. This was highlighted at last years Wrestlemania when Ricky Steamboat wowed the Texan crowd with a 5 star performance against Chris Jericho. Now i know Lawler wasn't as good a wrestler as Ricky was but he was still pretty darn good back in the day and he really showed it with his performance. He may not of performed any high impact moves but he still showed that he has the charisma and quality to carry a good match. The Miz was spectacularly average and showed us exactly why he shouldn't be the WWE Champion. I mean the fans can't even make up their minds whether they like him or they hate him which is a definite sign that he is not ready for this gigantic push. The match as a whole though was sent straight to 'vintage' when Michael Cole got involved. That man is solid gold when it comes to drawing Heat and being all-round amazing in the WWE, much like Vickie Guerrero. Watching Jerry Knock some sense into him was a sight i believe many fans all around the world were savouring.

Overall the match was thoroughly enjoyable, well for current Raw standards, and I definitely wouldn't mind seeing Lawler in the ring again. But I would like to emphasise that i 'wouldn't mind seeing him wrestle again' Not every week like a certain other company does...

Wednesday, 10 November 2010

Professional Wrestling Encyclopedia of Failure: B is for Botch

Define: Botch
1) Wrestler attempts a scripted move but fails to pull it off either through a mistake, malfunction or misunderstanding with opponent.
2) While cutting a promo a superstar forgets his lines or makes an unscripted mistake

There has always been mistakes in professional wrestling some minor, some major, some hilarious and some painful to even think of. Everyone has heard of the infamous 'Botchamania' videos which have collected some of the finest botches ever to have graced the internet, so there is no need for me to write a whole article about the psychology and science behind the art of botching. So instead for this entrance in the Professional Wrestling Encyclopedia of Failure i have decided to show you my top 10 favourite botches in wrestling, some funny while others horrible. So sit back and enjoy the definition of the word fail in the world of wrestling!

10. Undertakers Suicide Dive (Wrestlemania 25)

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Probably the only Classic match of Wrestlemania 25 was the Undertaker/Michaels match which absolutely stole the show. The only down point of a stunning encounter was when Undertaker nearly broke his neck after attempting a suicide dive. Although hard to spot if you look closely you can see the awkward angle that his head comes into contact with the mat and it is not nice. The Cameraman who was actually a wrestler, apparently Manu, was supposed to catch him so not to cause any injuries on the landing but we can all see how well that went. He was given one simple job but off course he messed it up, BIG TIME.

9. Eve Torres Air Kick

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Its hard not say that the WWEs divas division is on a rapid decline and this is just one of three diva botches in the countdown. Eve Mendes winner of Divas Search 2007 hadnt wrestled much in the company till late last year when she won the WWE Divas championship. In my opinion she lacks both wrestling and mic skills and this video just proves how much she lacks. It cracks me up seeing the huge gap between her kick and her opponents face.

8. Mike Adamle Jeff Harvey (Royal Rumble 2008)

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Sorry to bring up the horrible Mike Adamle again but I just cant get over how bad his first appearance on the WWE was. Calling one of the biggest stars the wrong name is just pathetic and he was never able to get over this in his WWE career.

7. Undertaker Choke Slamming Hulk Hogan (Judgment Day 2002)

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Undertaker, one of the WWEs most iconic wrestlers, makes a second appearance on my countdown of botches with this miserable attempt for a chokeslam. Hulk Hogan may be a heavy guy but that doesnt excuse this feeble move acceptable.

6. Randy Ortons Missed RKO (RAW)

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Randy Ortons RKO is the PG eras Stone Cold Stunner and is one of the easiest moves to pull off seeing as all you have to do is grab the opponents head and pretty much fall down. Though here he manages to mess it up completely while the audience gets to watch him flop to the floor. If he were to hit the RKO it would of received a huge pop from the crowd but thanks to his complacency it doesnt end in the sort of fashion it should of done.

5. Melina Botching her Entrance (Survivor Series 2007)

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Melina has one of the sexiest entrances to ever grace the WWE but this one wasnt quite sexy, more hilarious. How you pick yourself up for a match after such an obvious blunder before a PPV match I dont know.

4. Rob Van Dam Chair Kick Miss (ECW)

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Blink and youll miss it. A fairly famous botch where Rob Van Dam misses kicking a chair into Kurt Angles face but he still goes down as if he has been shot. Classic.

3. Sabu Multi-Botch (FMW)

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Sabu isn’t a great wrestler he’s more of a extremist who you watch just to see what he’ll do next like most of the old ECW lot. He is also famous for botching a hell of a lot of his moves as you can see week-in, week out on TNA. This video shows a match between him and RVD and Team 3D where he manages to botch four times in just 41 seconds. He has great talent.

2. Mickie James Vs Gail Kim (Raw)

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This match is one giant botch from start to finish and sums up the Divas division as a whole. I don’t blame Mickie’s reaction after the matches conclusion, I’d feel the same if I put on one of the worst matches in the history of the WWE. Though rumors are Gail Kim suffered a concussion on her botched moonsault but it doesn’t stop it being one of the worst and funniest matches ever.

1.  Stone Cold Neck Break (Summerslam 1997)

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Sorry to end the countdown on a downer but this was the botch that affected the WWE and its audience the most. Stone Cold’s neck was broken and forced him out of competition for over a year along with shortening his WWE career. If this botch never happened Stone Cold may still be around kicking the PG Era where it hurts but unfortunately it did.


So there is my countdown of the top 10 botches in professional wrestling. You may disagree but then you are wrong because “I’M AWESOME.” Next week will be C in the ‘Professional Wrestling Encyclopedia of Fail’. I wonder what it will be?

Mickie James has nothing to do with it, just thought I’d use a nice picture to end on.

To Read my blog archive ‘The Wrestling-Shoot’ (small at the moment) - http://wrestling-shoot.blogspot.com/

Thursday, 4 November 2010

The Professional Wrestling Encyclopedia of Failure: A is for Adamle

"Everyone in anticipation of tonight's Royal Rumble here, another man who has been waiting anxiously in anticipation, his name is Jeff Harvey" Mike Adamle (Royal Rumble 2008)

People have been saying that commentary in the WWE is at an all-time low ever since Jim Ross left the announcers table but my good are they wrong. How could they have forgotten about the disastrous Mike Adamle. Not only did he destroy the credibility of the commentary teams for the WWE, become a terrible GM of Raw but he also made one the single worst debuts the company had ever seen. Royal Rumble 2008 all he had was a few lines to say to introduce a promo for the Jeff Hardy/Randy Orton match and he went and called Hardy, Harvey. The match that followed was pretty good for a PPV in the current PG era but YouTube videos will only remind you of the horrible mistake by the one and only Mike Adamle.

Adamle started of as a below average NFL running-back and played for the Kansas City Chiefs, New York Jets and Chicago Bears before taking up Announcing where he earned a name as the co-host of American Gladiators. He was the only host to remain through all 7 of the seasons before it was cancelled in 1996. From there he did a number of on/off hosting of different television programs before he eventually winded up on WWE as an interviewer, little did the viewers know he would become so much more!

As well as his infamous Jeff Harvey mistake Adamle went on to make another blunder that could only be made by him, getting the name of the company wrong. Its not even than hard to remember three simple letters, W.W.E, though some how he managed to botch the easiest of tasks by referring to it as the WEDF. I mean seriously even Matt Striker isn’t that bad.

Soon after Adamle was then made play-by-play announcer for the WEDF’s (WWE’s) third show, ECW, replacing the irreplaceable Joey Styles allowing the audience at home to here mistake after appalling mistake all show long. Some say that Mike Adamle is one of the reasons the ECW brand eventually got cancelled and can’t help but thinking that they might be right. After leaving the ECW due to his terrible match calling he issued an apology to the fans which is personally horrible to watch as he gets continually booed throughout the whole speech.

However a few months later Mike Adamle was revealed as the new General Manager of Raw, the company’s A-show, by Shane McMahon. What was going on in the creative team’s minds when they decided to give the job to a guy who was universally hated by the WWE fans and also try and make him a face character. It didn’t work. He was even allowed to bring a script into the arena so not to forget his lines or call someone by a different name but he still manage to defy the odds and make a mistake. And if that wasn’t bad enough we had to put up with him rave on about his ‘Adamle Specials’ which were hands down worse than any ‘And I Quote’ from Michael Cole.

He eventually left the company with no real reason behind it, the WWE universe didn’t care, and went on his way leaving behind his legacy as the worst play-by-play commentator of all-time.

Wednesday, 6 October 2010

The Great Ratings Debate

The story that has been on the lips of nearly the whole IWC’s lips for the past week is the drop in Raw’s viewer ratings. The amount of viewers Raw is getting has dropped to 2.7 since Randy Orton won the WWE Championship at Night of Champions, the lowest in around thirteen years. So the question is ‘What’s with this drop?’ Raw hasn’t suddenly got awful over night, though it has maintained mediocrity for the past few years, so what is the reason? I have a few suggestions behind the dip beginning with…

Lack of Decent Storylines
Its safe to say everyone has been moaning about the lack of creative talent in the WWE’s writing staff but are the storylines as bad now as they were last year. At the moment we have the Nexus/Cena story which although losing its fizzle a bit has been thoroughly entertaining over the past few months. The return of the classic Brothers of Destruction rivalry and of course the brilliant Miz/Daniel Bryan Feud. Whilst this time last year we had a pointless Undertaker v Punk match which didn’t go anywhere and the dire rejuvenation of DX. So it is safe to say that although good storylines are rare Raw is still far from nothing storyline wise.

Poor Wrestling Quality

This is a tough category to judge because the quality of wrestling within the WWE is split massively. Looking at the Divas division it is fair to say that it has hit an all time low with the only decent wrestlers being released or injured and matches only getting a maximum of 4 minutes a week. Then we have the dying Tag Teams of Raw which has been getting progressively worse since The Hart Dynasty won the titles. Now it seems that the division has gotten so bad that they have to give the titles to two wrestlers who aren’t even tag team partners. Though with these two negatives comes one positive of an increase in the singles matches shown on Raw every week. Both mid-card and main event matches have improved from what was shown over the past two years of ‘the longest running weekly episodic show’ (blar blar). Matches like the Orton/Cena tables match a few weeks ago and the amazing triple threat between Orton, Jericho and Edge for the number one contender at the SummerSlam PPV. Again although not great as it could be wrestling quality is nowhere near as bad as it could be. I mean it doesn’t have EV 2.0 isn’t that good enough?
Losing its Older Audience
WWE’s PG era has been in effect for what seems like an eternity already and some of the older fans must of eventually got fed up of this child friendly product. There is no doubt that today’s Raw is nothing compared to that of the ‘Raw is War’ during the WCW rating clash but it is being restricted beyond belief regulation wise. Professional wrestling is supposed to be violent and aggressive and by slapping a PG sticker on it you are taking away everything that makes WWE what it is. Though that being said when you can contrast this to TNA’s desperate attempt to make themselves look like the old attitude era you can see that WWE may not be as violent but it isn’t as pathetic.
Truth be said Cena is the man WWE has invested all of its assets into making him the face of the company. Its safe to say that he will be there for a long time, maybe even as long as the Undertaker, though some people in the IWC will shudder at the thought. I am not a hater of the champ but neither am I lover, though I know that there is a huge majority of people who despise him. They hate his talk, they hate his walk, they hate his wrestling abilities and they hate his superman like powers. In fact, they hate him so much that some of them even go as far as to stop watching the show just so they don’t have to see him. Lets face it he is no The Rock or Stone Cold.

So here is just a few of reasons on why I believe that the ratings for Raw have dropped, though how to raise these ratings is a completely different matter. But for now I want to know why you believe the ratings have fallen or even why you have stopped watching the show.